Introduction to Korean Cinema

With the win of Parasite (2019) at the 2020 Academy Awards I thought I would go through and put together a bit of a guide to people confused as to where to start with Korean cinema and who haven’t had the experience of watching it since the early 2000s when it first started taking off at least in the festival circuit internationally.

These are all movies I have seen and would recommend based on your level of knowledge of Korean cinema. I am not really big on the horror genre so there might be some omissions due to me personally not having seen some of the more popular ones in that area.

Beginners

If you have no knowledge at all of Korean cinema it is worth finding a couple of movies to start off easier so you don’t get confused.

Volcano High (2001)

This one is fun and easy to get into. I first saw it at MIFF one year and ended up going back to see it again before the end of the festival, something which I almost never do (also having a festival passport had something to do with it.) One of my first DVD purchases of a Korean DVD from a time where you could buy legit copies in the CBD. There is a dubbed version and also one done by MTV rappers but yeah nah.

Joint Security Area (2000)

I first saw this at the Forum Theatre upstairs for MIFF and then again in November the same year. The first time I came across Song Kang Ho in a movie and his performance is the best thing about it.

Also started my addiction to Choco Pies but they must have better ones in Korea as all the ones I have had are stale. I grabbed a copy of this from the same DVD store I got Volcano High from to get Park Chan-Wook to sign it at MIFF when he came to do a Q&A for Old Boy.

Welcome to Dongmakgol (2005)

A lovely family friendly story about opposing sides coming together in the midst of a war to work together to save a village. It is funny and sad and does remind me of a Myazaki movie at points.

The Host (2006)

Although people say to see Memories of Murder first or Mother, those two rely on you knowing a bit more about Korea to get something out of them. This has the hook of the environmental angle and military crackdown. It is also a movie about a family having to work together to achieve something and not trusting the government. Some scenes feel like you should not be laughing at them such as the fight the family has at the memorial service but you still do.

Song Kang Ho is so funny and silly here and has great pathos. In one scene he can’t even run away from people chasing him as he is so sad and pathetically covers up a body with a piece of cardboard.

The King and the Clown (2005)

With costumed dramas being so popular in South Korea this is as good a representative of any for those for a wider audience. I don’t think it matters the main couple is LGBTIQ at all, stop being such a big tough guy and just kiss him you fool!

Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood of War (2004)

With a large ensemble cast that includes the famous Choi Min-sik this story of two brothers separated by war is one of the biggest Korean war movies ever in terms of box office and they always tend to do well. This isn’t M*A*S*H buddy! Stuff goes down and it is a serious and long movie. I remember seeing it with an intermission at the Astor Theatre in Melbourne along with Joint Security Area (they are doing a Bong Joon Ho retrospective coming up.)

Train to Busan (2016)

If you are only going to watch one Korean zombie movie make it this one. Takes an overdone concept and accelerates it by having the action take place in an enclosed space that could have another story within it from just the high school baseball team trapped in the other carriage. There is a prequel Seoul Station (2016) but it is not really necessary to watch unless you want more background to the initial outbreak. The little girl is the real star of this movie as it is about her journey.

Intermediate

If you have seen a few films from Korea and want to go further into it. I know people think some of these should be the first people should see, but there are reasons not to.

Oldboy (2003)

This was the darling of the festival circuit on its’ release. I even bought the Korean version and the soundtrack but its’ impact has dulled somewhat with the likes of the Raid movies and the Night Comes for Us upping the depiction of violence on screen. The fairly average remake did not help matters nor did the Bollywood version Zinda which totally missed the point of it. If you were going to get it these days I would get one of the deluxe releases with all three movies from the trilogy. Park Chan Wook said Sympathy for Mr Vengeance is his favourite even though not as many people like it.

 

Yellow Sea (2010)

Nice movie, but could use more stabbing. Saw this back to back with the Unjust at MIFF one year and that is a bit too much considering how high the stakes are in that movie to come out and go straight into this one. I actually ended up buying this one as I wanted to see it again.

Memories of Murder (2003)

This one was recommended to me back when people still talked about movies on film forums and not just podcast or podcast discussion groups. Due to the historical setting and cultural differences it does take a bit more to get into but it is worth it. Sang Kang Ho plays a yokel country cop whose methods get results but are not by the book. His city counterpart is all about the correct procedure and trusts in science. I had the Korean special edition at one point which actually shows you who the killer is if you sit through an hour long documentary with no subtitles (may just be the hand model though.)

The Quiet Family (1998)

A fun comedy of errors later remade as Happiness of the Katikuris to much more success. This one is great though and has a lot of recognisable actors hamming it up here.

The Chaser (2008)

A detective story, race against time thriller and serial killer film all in one. The stakes are very high in this one to the point of the main protagonist is ready to take out people who are meant to be helping him to try and find the killer (the scene where he crashes the police van). The little girl is a star there is a hard scene to watch at one point.

Advanced

Of course you may watch these movies in whatever order you want, but I have warned you and you would not get as much out of them unless you have at least some knowledge of Korean culture beforehand. Notice that I did not say language as I still do not know Korean at all even after 20 years of watching films from South Korea.

Thirst (2009)

So deliciously wicked and I can’t believe that I saw this back to back with the Chaser at MIFF one year. Park Chan Wook directs and Song Kang Ho stars as a vampire priest trying to control his base urges but he is led astray by lust. The lady vampire enjoys her new power it even more and does get her time to shine, which could have been a whole other movie by itself.

Mother (2009)

A much more personal film from Bong Joon Ho about a mother in a small town who will go to any lengths to prove the innocence of her son after a murder of a local teenager. I do mean any lengths and you will be surprised how far she takes it. This movie and Sympathy for Mr Vengeance also comment on the lack of health care in South Korea.

Snowpiercer (2013)

The live action version of French graphic novel Le Transperceneige has divided audience over its weirdness and hard sci fi setting but I like it. This is also in light of the Bong Joon Ho getting one over Harvey Weinstein who wanted to cut it even more “it was a fucking lie. My father was not a fisherman”.  Tilda Swinton has an uncredited cameo in the film and Song Kang Ho features as a drug addicted engineer. Chris Evans is the lead but it is a multinational effort this one. I am interested in seeing how they go with the TV series.

Midnight Ballad for the Ghost Theatre (2006) / The Fox Family (2006)

Finding these was a complete surprise for me as I had never heard of them and there was no English writing on the DVD boxes at all. I had to rely on the staff at the store to even find out if there was subtitles. Some things to require a leap of faith and it was worthwhile for these.

Midnight Ballard for the Ghost Theatre is a Korean take on Rocky Horror Picture show will all new songs and a young girl as the main character. Lots of singing and dancing and a positive outcome.

The Fox Family assumes you know the legend of the foxes who have to eat a human liver to stay in human form. Very strange and out there in parts but well worth it if you can find it.

The Handmaiden (2016)

Park Chan Wook’s version of the novel Fingersmith is transferred to pre-World War II Korea but is quite a trip. I felt like a perv watching it in a cinema and no wonder it sold out both screenings at MIFF plus a bonus session. Not really as accessible as some of his other work but then again this director does not like to repeat himself. I have still not seen his Hollywood effort.

The Wailing (2016)

A supernatural thriller and detective story that actively punishes you for thinking that you “get it”. I did not expect to have any laughs in this at all but there you are. Some of the scenes are quite disturbing and I could not work out my feelings towards it at the time so I never did a proper review.

Vale RRR BBQ Day (2002 – 2019)

I already knew it was not going to be on this year, given everything else that has happened I don’t blame them. Plus I almost KO’ed myself in that heat. February is too hot to have an even like this outside.

Was some random ringing up Biggsy on 7th Feburary 2020 who confirmed that it was not going ahead and last year’s was the last one ever. I cannot find any official announcement at all and the station manager did not answer my inquiry.

It is a lot of work to organise each year including Ian Bland re-writing all the song lyrics, the band having to practice and each of the people singing having to do their songs. Dan’s gig will be the substitute for it any way and at least the band will be compensated for their work monetarily for once.

Was some word of another event replacing it, good luck to it and I hope it goes well.

RRR Rooftop (2002 – 2003)

National BBQ Day
The Rooftop Cafe, Sunday 24th November 2002
http://timchuma.com/writing/otherwriting/MelbourneBBQDay2002.htm

RRR Melbourne BBQ Day 2003
the Rooftop Cafe, Sunday 7th December 2003
http://timchuma.com/2003/melbournebbqday.htm

CERES Environment Park (2004 – 2019)

RRR Melbourne BBQ Day 2004
Ceres Environmental Park
Sunday, December 5th 2004
http://photos.timchuma.com/MelbourneBBQDay2004/

 

RRR Melbourne BBQ Day 2005
Ceres Environmental Park
Sunday, 4th December, 2005
http://photos.timchuma.com/MelbourneBBQDay2005/

RRR Melbourne BBQ Day 2006
Ceres Environmental Park
Sunday, 3rd December, 2006
with special guests Ian Bland, Gary Adams, Melbourne BBQ Orchestra: Big Kev, Dan, Ed Bates, Dan Warner, Marcel Borrack, Sarah Carroll, Fred Negro, Wagons, Tides of Welcome Community Choir, Barb Waters, Wes & Horse, Suzannah Espie, Dr Pump, Merri Creek Primary School dancers
http://photos.timchuma.com/MelbourneBBQDay2006/

Melbourne BBQ Day 2007
Ceres Environmental Park
Sunday, 2rd December, 2007
with special guests Ian Bland, Melbourne BBQ Orchestra, Dan Warner, Sime Nugent, Tracee Hutchison, Bob Starkey, Sarah Carroll, Wes & Horse Harrington, Barb Waters, Angry (Wally) Meanie, DC Root, Fred Negro, Wolfgramm Sisters, Marcel Borrack, Chuck Steak Jenkins, Big Kev, Dan, Matt Earle, Ed Bates
http://photos.timchuma.com/MelbourneBBQDay2007/

 

RRR Melbourne BBQ Day 2008
Ceres Environmental Park
Sunday, 7th December, 2008
with special guests Melbourne BBQ Orchestra, Dan Warner, Harrington Brothers, Ian Bland, Barb Waters, Bob Starkie, Charles Jenkins, Dave Larkin, Dr Pump, Sarah Carroll, Suzannah Espie, Adam Simmonds, Wagons, Fred Negro, Jimmy Clinkerfield, Wolfgramm Sisters
http://photos.timchuma.com/MelbourneBBQDay2008/

RRR Melbourne BBQ Day 2009
Ceres Environmental Park
Sunday, 6th December 2009
with special guests Melbourne BBQ Orchestra, Dan Warner, Sarah Carroll, Marcel Borrack, JVG, Barb Waters, Ian Bland, Dave Larkin, The Eggs, Van Walker, Jimmy Clinkerfield, Stewart Farrell, The Harrington Brothers, Chris O’Connor, Wolfgramm Sisters, Dr Pump
http://photos.timchuma.com/MelbourneBBQDay2009/

RRR Melbourne BBQ Day 2010
Ceres Environmental Park
Sunday, 5th December 2010
with special guests Melbourne BBQ Orchestra, Dan Warner, Barb Waters, Quincy McLean, Oliver Mann, Oliver Mann, Fred Negro, Jesse Lawrence, Chris Wilson, Lynelle Moran, Sean Dooley, Wolfgramm Sisters, Jane Clifton, Mark Ferrie, Charles Jenkins, Sime Nugent, Sarah Carroll, Dr Pump
http://photos.timchuma.com/MelbourneBBQDay2010/

RRR BBQ Day 2011
with JVG, the Melbourne BBQ Orchestra (Dan Warner, Paul Thomas, Nathan Farrelly, Matt Earl, Dave Evans, Ed Bates, Adam Simmons, Sgt. Slaughter), Sarah Carroll, Suzannah Espie, Kerri Simpson, Paulie Stewart & FLYBZ, Ben Birchall, Ian Bland, Jimmy Clinkerfield, Stewart Farrell, Pete Ewing, Tracy McNeil & Luke Sinclair, Cash Savage, Mikelangelo, Go Go Sapien, Dr Pump
Ceres Environmental Park, Sunday 4th December 2011
http://photos.timchuma.com/gallery3/index.php/2011/RRR-BBQ-Day-2011

RRR BBQ Day 2012
with JVG, Melbourne BBQ Orchestra (Dan Warner, Matt Earl, Nathan Farrelly, Adam Simmons, Ed Bates, Marcel Borrack, Bruce Haymes), Pete Ewing, Horse and Wes Harrington, Steve Pinkerton, The Rebelles, Fraser A Gorman, Jess McGuire, Ben Birchall, Sarah Carroll, Mikelangelo, Cash Savage, Kerri Simpson, Casey Bennetto, Suzannah Espie, Gleny Rae Virus, Dr Pump, Tim Rogers, Stew Farrell
Ceres Environmental Park, Sunday 2nd December 2012
http://photos.timchuma.com/gallery3/index.php/2012/RRR-BBQ-Day-2012

RRR BBQ Day 2013
Description: with JVG, Melbourne BBQ Orchestra (Dan Warner, Matt Earl, Nathan Farrelly, Adam Simmons, Ed Bates, Marcel Borrack, Alex), Angie Hart, Van and Cal Walker, Ben Birchall, Adam Simmons, Pete Ewing, The Nymphs, William Ewing, Suzannah Espie, Sarah Carroll, Kerri Simpson, Cash Savage, Casey Bennetto, The Rebelles, Dr Pump
Ceres Environmental Park, Sunday 1st December 2013
http://photos.timchuma.com/gallery3/index.php/2013/RRR-BBQ-Day-2013

RRR BBQ Day 2014
with JVG, Melbourne BBQ Orchestra (Dan Warner, Matt Earl, Nathan Farrelly, Adam Simmons, Ed Bates, Marcel Borrack, Dave Evans, Stephen Temple, Jane Hendry), The Burnt Sausages, Kerrie Simpson, Sarah Carroll, Danny Walsh, Kit & Andre Warhurst, Horse and Wes Harrington, Peter and William Ewing, Cash Savage, Billy Miller, Paulie Stewart, Casey Bennetto, Dr Pump
RRR Performance Space, Sunday 7th December 2014
http://photos.timchuma.com/gallery3/index.php/2014/RRR-BBQ-Day-2014

RRR BBQ Day 2015
with JVG, Melbourne BBQ Orchestra (Dan Warner, Matt Earl, Nathan Farrelly, Adam Simmons, Dan Hall), Ian Bland, Josh Earl, Suzannah Espie, Danny Walsh, Kate Boston Smith, Pete Ewing, Andy Reid, Angie Hart, Cash Savage, Dr Pump, Sarah Carroll, Eugene Hamilton, Slats
Ceres Environment Park, Sunday 6th December 2015
http://photos.timchuma.com/gallery3/index.php/2015/RRR-BBQ-Day-2015

RRR BBQ Day 2016
with JVG, Melbourne BBQ Orchestra (Dan Warner, Matt Earl, Nathan Farrelly, Marcel Borrack, Dan Hall, Ed Bates), Pete Ewing, Laura Imbruglia, Tim Rogers, Delsinki Records & Brooke, Kerri Simpson, Lucy Dwyer, Jemma Rowlands, Dr Pump, Fiona Lee Maynard, Angie Hart, Simon Edwards, Slatts, Casey Bennetto, Scott Edgar
Ceres Environment Park, Sunday 4th December 2016
http://photos.timchuma.com/gallery3/index.php/2016/RRR-BBQ-Day-2016

RRR BBQ Day 2017/2018 (2017 rescheduled due to storm warning)
with JVG, Melbourne BBQ Orchestra, Dan Warner, Ian Bland, Amerina Waters, Sarah Carroll, Pete, Hollie Joyce, Luke Sinclair, Dan Hall, Casey Bennetto, George Wilson, Lucy Dwyer, Dr Pump
Ceres Environment Park, Sunday 25th February 2018
http://photos.timchuma.com/gallery3/index.php/2018/RRR-BBQ-Day-2018

RRR BBQ Day 2019
with JVG, Melbourne BBQ Orchestra (Dan Warner, Matt Earl, Nathan Farrelly, Marcel Borrack, Dan Hall), Ian Bland, Cleo and Georgie, Eugene Hamilton, Sarah Carroll, George Wilson, Al Parkinson, Amarina Waters, Slatts, Fergus McAlpine, Lucy Dwyer, Danny Walsh, Kerri Simpson, Henry Wagons, Hollie Joyce, Pumpy
Ceres Environment Park, Sunday 24th February 2019
http://photos.timchuma.com/gallery3/index.php/2019/RRR-BBQ-Day-2019

Best Japanese Movies of the 2010s

Again, I have not really seen enough of these outside of a festival environment to do a best and worst list.

Outrage Coda (2017)

Beat Takeshi is still turning out solid movies and I didn’t feel like I missed anything not seeing the other films in this series.

https://blog.timchuma.com/2018/08/miff-2018-outrage-coda-2017/

Shin Godzilla (2016)

Very Japanese in the way the Legendary pictures movies are not. People may claim that Godzilla is hardly in those other movies but this movie is mainly meetings. The director’s experience on Neon Genesis Evangelion comes through as the monster is dealt with as if it is a natural disaster and then a military threat with combined arms tactics used.

https://blog.timchuma.com/2016/10/shin-godzilla-2016/

Love and Peace (2015)

This was the first movie I watched after a stay in hospital as I had been wanting to see it for years. Worth it.

The Kingdom of Dreams and Madness (2013)

“Oh no I left the goats out!” Great to see a documentary about Hayao Miyazaki finally and as it turned out it was not his final movie after all.

https://blog.timchuma.com/2014/08/miff-2014-the-kingdom-of-dreams-and-madness-2013/

The Tale of Princess Kaguya (2013)

This movie took so long to complete no one thought it would ever be finished. This director is the more prickly of the Studio Ghibili directors. A unique story and sweet visuals to go with it.

https://blog.timchuma.com/2014/08/miff-2014-the-tale-of-princess-kaguya-2013/

Why Don’t You Play in Hell? (2013)

Wooo-boy! A nice action movie and severe burn on do-nothing film “experts” who sit around talking about how they can make the best movie ever if they ever did anything.

https://blog.timchuma.com/2014/08/miff-2014-why-dont-you-play-in-hell-2013/

13 Assassins (2010)

A huge ensemble cast take on a brutal lord. Everyone gets their chance to shine. There are many different cuts of this movie for some reason?

http://timchuma.com/miff2011/13assassins.htm

 

Best Indonesian Movies of the 2010s

I didn’t really see enough to do a “worst” part of the list. A lot of these are ones I saw at MIFF but the Raid movies and the Night Comes for Us are from other times and Netflix.

The Raid: Redemption (2011) / The Raid 2: Berandal (2014)

Truly epoch-making action cinema. Even if you do not watch Asian action cinema at all you would have watched something that has been influenced by these two movies. I keep seeing other stunts and fight choreography that has been borrowed from this film. Cecep Arif Rahman in John Wick 3 not being defeated on screen was due to the amount of respect Keanu Reeves had for the actor.

http://hkmovies.timchuma.com/theraidredemption.htm

http://hkmovies.timchuma.com/theraid2.htm

The Night Comes For Us (2018)

“When they are shooting it is like two dogs fighting over a bone, but as soon as the camera stops it is all smiles and backslaps.” – the director on whether the stars of the movie had a “knock down” clause like the Rock and Jason Statham.

Takes the action of the Raid films and kicks it up one notch further adding more gore and painful to watch violence. The Operator could do her own film easily. Also, when in doubt pop that collar!

The Act of Killing (2012) / The Look of Silence (2014)

When Errol Morris and Werner Herzog decide to jump on board as producers, you know it is something important and it was. At the Q&A for the first documentary I took 19 pages of notes, people asked question in Indonesian.

The second film was actually meant to be made first but was shut down by the army so they went to interview the perpetrators of the violence instead.

https://blog.timchuma.com/2013/07/miff-2013-the-act-of-killing-2012/

https://blog.timchuma.com/2013/08/miff-2013-talking-pictures-caught-in-the-act-indonesia-and-the-act-of-killing/

https://blog.timchuma.com/2015/08/miff-2015-the-look-of-silence-2014-with-q-a/

Best and Worst Korean Movies of the 2010s

I have gone more towards South Korea this decade even though I don’t often get the opportunity to see movies from that country outside of film festivals or special screenings. There is a stated goal from South Korea’s government for them to make quality cinema and spread their culture overseas they want to win all the awards. This is not in any sort of order other than by year.

Best

Parasite (2019)

It only just came out but is pretty much ruling all at this point. If it wins the Academy Award for Best Picture Song Kang-Ho can run around with his underpants on his head and still get roles.

https://blog.timchuma.com/2019/07/parasite-2019/

Train to Busan (2016)

Still don’t know how they are going to follow this up? I would like to see a parallel story following the high school baseball team from the other carriage. You can watch the prequel Seoul Station but it is not really necessary (I saw it on a double bill with this movie.)

https://blog.timchuma.com/2016/08/miff-2016-train-to-busan-2016/

The Age of Shadows (2016)

Best use of baby poo bum in a movie to break tension ever.

https://blog.timchuma.com/2016/11/the-age-of-shadows-2016/

The Wailing (2016)

I could not organise my feelings about this movie into a form that I could put down. I have not seen a movie that punishes you so hard for making assumptions or thinking that you “get it”.

The Handmaiden (2016)

I felt like a perv watching this movie in the cinema. No wonder both sessions plus the bonus screening at MIFF sold out that year.

Snowpiercer (2013)

I do remember liking this at the time but not sure it stands up as much as the director’s other work.

Comrade Kim Goes Flying (2012)

And old-school propaganda movie from North Korea but with a nice sweet story and supporting equality.

https://blog.timchuma.com/2013/08/miff-2013-comrade-kim-goes-flying-2012/

 

War of the Arrows (2011)

I think this was a Korean Film Festival in Australia watch? I remember liking it a lot when it first came out.

http://hkmovies.timchuma.com/warofthearrows.htm

 

The Yellow Sea (2010)

A good movie but it could have used more stabbing…

http://timchuma.com/miff2011/theyellowsea.htm

 

Worst

Rampant (2018)

More of a disappointment they could not decide if this wants to be an action movie or a historical drama. Everything stops dead when it switches styles. By all accounts Kingdom is everything this movie is not.

https://blog.timchuma.com/2018/11/rampant-2018/

Aim High in Creation! (2013)

OK, this a cheat since it is an Australian director in director but gets special mention due to the director not telling the people from Stop CSG Sydney that she was making a communist propaganda movie. Doubly so since her and the tour guide director criticized at the Q&A the director of the Red Chapel for deceiving their North Korean hosts.

https://blog.timchuma.com/2013/08/miff-2013-aim-high-in-creation-2013/

End of Animal (2010)

Zzzzzz

http://timchuma.com/miff2011/endofanimal.htm

Best and Worst Hong Kong Movies of the 2010s

Best

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (2010)
Dr Donkey Wang I presume?
http://hkmovies.timchuma.com/detectivedee2010.htm

Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen (2010)
If you are a fan of Donnie Yen and martial arts movies I would still recommend this movie, otherwise you might want to wait for “Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame” that looks a lot better (and it was).
http://hkmovies.timchuma.com/returnofchenzhen.htm

The Flying Swords of Dragon Gate (2011)
While not essential viewing compared to some of Tsui Hark’s earlier work, it is still a lot better than the super serious historical Chinese epics or all the “Happy Birthday China” movies that seem to be coming out at the moment.
http://hkmovies.timchuma.com/flyingswordsdragongate.htm

Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons (2013)
The better of the two Journey to the West trilogies by a mile.
http://hkmovies.timchuma.com/journeytothewest_ctd.htm

Cook up a Storm (2017)
Accidental comedy masterpiece FUCK YOU DAD! *throws bottle of hard liquor at giant poster of Anthony Wong*
https://blog.timchuma.com/2017/02/cook-up-a-storm-2017/

Shadow (2018)
For those of you who prefer your action more slow and complatitive
https://blog.timchuma.com/2018/10/shadow-2018/

Project Gutenberg (2018)
This got a lot of shit but I liked it. That shot of Chow Yun Fat setting the counterfeit money on fire is totally not in the movie. Needs 100% more scenes of the engraving the money.
https://blog.timchuma.com/2018/10/project-gutenberg-2018/

IP Man 4 (2019)
A nice wrap up to the series and well worth your time when it comes out on streaming or whatever service you get to see it through. I thought I reviewed the 3rd one by I can’t find it. This serves for both.
http://www.impulsegamer.com/ip-man-4-the-finale-review-2019/

Worst

Monkey King (2014)
This film is a mess.
http://hkmovies.timchuma.com/monkeyking2014.htm

Sky on Fire (2016)
SKYDIVE INTO BULLSHIT!
http://hkmovies.timchuma.com/skyonfire.htm

The Mermaid (2016)
Supposedly the biggest box office of the year in the world, why do I not care about any of the characters or story at all?

Bleeding Steel (2017)
Medicore!
Some of these actors should have just asked if they needed the money this much. I am ashamed to watch it.

L Storm (2018)
Not bad, just adequate, but movies have to do a lot more than just be OK these days. Louis Koo’s hair is indestructible as it even survives getting electrocuted and his suit is always immaculate.
https://blog.timchuma.com/2018/08/l-storm-2018/

Big Brother (2018)
I did like the go cart chase, but this movie seems like Dangerous Minds did it better in the 90s.
https://blog.timchuma.com/2018/09/big-brother-2018/

Triple Threat (2019)
Not enough Michael Wong, negative a billion!

photos.timchuma.com 2009-2019: Various other stats

Visits by country

# Country/Region Hits % of Total Hits Visits % of Total Visits
1 United States 14,562,557 36.34% 2,133,024 45.77%
2 China 1,509,849 3.77% 1,158,137 24.85%
3 United Kingdom 926,337 2.31% 456,422 9.79%
4 Italy 339,915 0.85% 192,885 4.14%
5 Australia 5,084,857 12.69% 181,078 3.89%
6 Russian Federation 1,737,461 4.34% 133,948 2.87%
7 Netherlands 8,404,556 20.97% 85,456 1.83%
8 Germany 4,711,765 11.76% 50,943 1.09%
9 Japan 203,641 0.51% 50,044 1.07%
10 France 731,084 1.82% 40,973 0.88%
11 Canada 225,701 0.56% 29,858 0.64%
12 Unknown 337,016 0.84% 27,456 0.59%
13 Ukraine 426,452 1.06% 22,155 0.48%
14 Sweden 120,141 0.30% 21,417 0.46%
15 Dominica 225,647 0.56% 16,932 0.36%
16 Ireland 23,887 0.06% 6,592 0.14%
17 Czech Republic 29,110 0.07% 5,425 0.12%
18 Taiwan 9,406 0.02% 3,264 0.07%
19 Hong Kong 14,075 0.04% 3,235 0.07%
20 Korea, Republic Of 6,526 0.02% 2,851 0.06%
21 Luxembourg 7,060 0.02% 2,780 0.06%
22 Poland 85,361 0.21% 2,745 0.06%
23 New Zealand 28,214 0.07% 2,402 0.05%
24 Belgium 11,610 0.03% 2,270 0.05%
25 Turkey 5,660 0.01% 2,107 0.05%
26 Spain 15,817 0.04% 1,624 0.03%
27 Switzerland 20,419 0.05% 1,588 0.03%
28 Finland 14,981 0.04% 1,478 0.03%
29 Brazil 7,058 0.02% 1,390 0.03%
30 Viet Nam 3,043 0.01% 1,325 0.03%
31 Norway 35,404 0.09% 1,200 0.03%
32 India 9,457 0.02% 1,145 0.02%
33 Austria 5,398 0.01% 1,119 0.02%
34 Singapore 5,563 0.01% 1,070 0.02%
35 Romania 9,412 0.02% 945 0.02%
36 Denmark 11,221 0.03% 920 0.02%
37 Mexico 4,498 0.01% 907 0.02%
38 Indonesia 5,150 0.01% 805 0.02%
39 Israel 48,766 0.12% 725 0.02%
40 Philippines 5,220 0.01% 649 0.01%
41 Malaysia 3,521 0.01% 555 0.01%
42 Greece 8,357 0.02% 505 0.01%
43 South Africa 2,474 0.01% 504 0.01%
44 Thailand 27,524 0.07% 474 0.01%
45 Hungary 5,439 0.01% 394 0.01%
46 Argentina 3,103 0.01% 384 0.01%
47 Portugal 2,227 0.01% 352 0.01%
48 Iceland 2,352 0.01% 281 0.01%
49 Iran, Islamic Republic Of 4,608 0.01% 279 0.01%
50 United Arab Emirates 1,848 0.00% 259 0.01%
Subtotal 40,030,748 99.90% 4,655,276 99.89%
Total 40,070,460 100.00% 4,660,547 100.00%

Top referral sites

# URL Visits Pageviews
1 http://www.messandnoise.com 62,265 188,476
2 http://forums.somethingawful.com 49,575 31,971
3 https://www.facebook.com 10,831 95,071
4 http://www.b3ta.com 4,206 21,121
5 http://www.redbubble.com 1,902 2,460
6 http://madboards.madman.com.au 1,506 6,643
7 https://blog.timchuma.com 1,449 18,769
8 http://b3ta.com 1,296 4,476
9 http://www.flickr.com 1,220 8,681
10 http://forums.blurb.com 777 988

Top search phrases

# Search Phrase Visits Pageview
1 tim chuma 558 9,620
2 tim chuma photos 283 4,239
3 peter lillie 233 2,050
4 the bawdies 219 32
5 steve prictor 182 1,648
6 atlanta coogan 156 1,094
7 female streaker 132 21
8 slim whittle 117 602
9 robot 105 134
10 tim chuma photography 99 1,174
11 stew farrell 98 824
12 eve von bibra 94 6
13 chuma.com 90 114
14 astroboy 88 61
15 fee bee squared 86 519
16 sideshow brides 84 767
17 stuart speed 82 648
18 wolfram sisters 76 131
19 megan washington tim rogers 75 213
20 tim rogers megan washington 68 167
21 site:photos.timchuma.com 66 66
22 kk juggy 64 809
23 stew farrell rrr 62 390
24 tim chmielewski 62 632
25 www.chuma.com 61 79
26 the shimmys 59 829
27 rohan hoult 58 264
28 photos.timchuma.com 57 261
29 chris altman 56 118
30 bawdies 54 10
31 blurb vs lulu 54 56
32 http://photos.timchuma.com/ kibology/ gasmaskgirl.jpg 50 0
33 fred t farlowe 49 258
34 burlesque 49 303
35 jonnine standish 48 46
36 the rebelles 48 349
37 caravan music club 48 248
38 bombshell babes 46 58
39 toot toot 46 0
40 gideon preiss 45 239
41 rosemary walton 45 296
42 timchuma 43 784
43 chuma 42 50
44 brain chuma 41 46
45 stephen teakle 40 133
46 caravan music club photos 40 260
47 andrew ogburn 39 393
48 acey monaro 38 146
49 feebee squared 37 204
50 female streakers 37 0
Subtotal 4,409 31,391
Total 20,527 133,377

Top keyword searches

# Search Keyword Searches
1 the 1,724
2 tim 1,604
3 chuma 1,462
4 photos 820
5 and 677
6 club 470
7 melbourne 421
8 rrr 396
9 music 339
10 peter 333
11 band 312
12 of 311
13 caravan 304
14 blurb 302
15 lillie 297
16 lulu 286
17 bawdies 276
18 rogers 271
19 steve 250
20 washington 243
21 megan 236
22 prictor 233
23 photo 232
24 farrell 217
25 atlanta 216
26 coogan 205
27 cup 203
28 female 196
29 stew 189
30 community 181
31 robot 169
32 vs 166
33 in 165
34 squared 160
35 slim 156
36 drouin 155
37 photography 152
38 a 149
39 streaker 148
40 whittle 143
41 sarah 141
42 brides 140
43 chris 139
44 burlesque 138
45 juggy 138
46 festival 135
47 kk 133
48 fred 132
49 at 131
50 bee 129
Subtotal 16,125
Total 55,178

photos.timchuma.com 2009-2019: Top photo galleries

Running the numbers from 10 years of raw website logs shows the following. I have no idea of the timeframe of these visits could be anywhere in the range.

# Directory Hits Visits
1 /CommunityCup2007 238,194 61,906
2 /ToteLastDrinksEver 230,387 43,250
3 /AbsinthClub 181,875 55,330
4 /BeerBandsBurlesqueFloodBenefit 164,862 38,253
5 /Nymagee2009 150,458 36,285
6 /CommunityCup2010 134,767 39,036
7 /BoxWars16 132,040 22,682
8 /BoxWars15 113,847 15,847
9 /CommunityCup2009 109,046 29,093
10 /DSC50thAnniversary 108,060 27,267
11 /RobotvsWorld011009 107,385 5,534
12 /SomedayWellFindIt 107,220 31,637
13 /EspyRockdogsPieNight2010 106,631 32,689
14 /23Positions1NightStand 104,277 31,150
15 /K_nky020808 102,564 30,517
16 /LifeonMars 101,654 31,762
17 /SomethingGood 100,691 29,239
18 /RMS2006 98,337 25,473
19 /MelbourneBBQDay2009 96,351 16,571
20 /MelbourneBBQDay2010 92,727 18,901

Christmas – Large Number 12s

Christmas to where I came from…
New Year’s Eve with my new friend
Christmas to where I came from…
New Year’s Eve with my new friend

It was fun livin’ on a dream…
A big white dream
But I woke to see…
To see for real…
I want to go back to the people I love

Sleeping in your world…
Sleeping in this scene…
Has bought a change in me…
A change for real…

I want to go back to the people I love
I want to go back to the people I love
I want to go back to the people I love
I want to go back to the people I love
Christmas to where I came from
New Year’s Eve with my new friend
Christmas to where I came from
New Year’s Eve with my new friend

Mother your children have grown
Far away…
You talk to them on the phone
Once a week…

I want to go back to the people I love
I want to go back to the people I love
I want to go back to the people I love
I want to go back to the people I love
I want to go back
I want to go back
I want to go back
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
I want to go back
La la la la
Christmas to where I came from
New Year’s Eve with my new friend
I want to go back

Jolly Old Christmas Time

Band: Weddings Parties Anything

Album: They Were Better Live

Spoken by: Pumpy

Hi, I’m Ray Martin
Christmas as always, is a special time of year
A time for sharing special moments with your family and friends
On this special night, join me please ladies and gentlemen in a song of Christmas joy

I want all the gentlemen to sing “It’s Christmas time already!”
I’d like all the ladies in the house to sing “It’s jolly old Christmas time!”
And hopefully they’ll be enough people to prompt you

Oh, I can’t get a cab with money or threats!
It’s Christmas time already!
This is as bad as it fucking gets!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
The pubs are shut and the shops are too!
It’s Christmas time already!
It’s pissing down rain and it’s 32!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
A howling host of host of girls and boys!
It’s Christmas time already!
Survey the wreckage of the toys!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
And I’m eating nuts and nectarines
It’s Christmas time already!
With poseable action figurines!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
I’m shitfaced on sherry, and passionfruit flavoured wine!
Let us all be merry, it’s very nearly old Christmas time!
I stagger from the kitchen to the comfy chair!
It’s Christmas time already!
Watching a show about a magical bear!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
I’m personally sick of this Christmas farce!
It’s Christmas time already!
Happiest time of the year my arse!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
What time is it?
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
Once more for Clanger!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
Chonk on! Goodnight!

Mick Thomas – Mr Peter Lawler!
(From the audience) – Fuck off you miserable cunt!