Jolly Old Christmas Time

Band: Weddings Parties Anything

Album: They Were Better Live

Spoken by: Pumpy

Hi, I’m Ray Martin
Christmas as always, is a special time of year
A time for sharing special moments with your family and friends
On this special night, join me please ladies and gentlemen in a song of Christmas joy

I want all the gentlemen to sing “It’s Christmas time already!”
I’d like all the ladies in the house to sing “It’s jolly old Christmas time!”
And hopefully they’ll be enough people to prompt you

Oh, I can’t get a cab with money or threats!
It’s Christmas time already!
This is as bad as it fucking gets!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
The pubs are shut and the shops are too!
It’s Christmas time already!
It’s pissing down rain and it’s 32!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
A howling host of host of girls and boys!
It’s Christmas time already!
Survey the wreckage of the toys!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
And I’m eating nuts and nectarines
It’s Christmas time already!
With poseable action figurines!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
I’m shitfaced on sherry, and passionfruit flavoured wine!
Let us all be merry, it’s very nearly old Christmas time!
I stagger from the kitchen to the comfy chair!
It’s Christmas time already!
Watching a show about a magical bear!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
I’m personally sick of this Christmas farce!
It’s Christmas time already!
Happiest time of the year my arse!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
What time is it?
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
Once more for Clanger!
It’s jolly old Christmas time!
Chonk on! Goodnight!

Mick Thomas – Mr Peter Lawler!
(From the audience) – Fuck off you miserable cunt!

 

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